Friday, 4 February 2011

Journeys still to make

I was not sure what to expect before two nurses arrived this morning.  They are both connected with community nursing although based in two different areas.  We have encountered so much talking and no action we were both feeling a little cynical.  However, we found them to be very practical and they understood that we want to put in place plans in case I become ill again, particularly out of hours.  Prior knowledge of my situation will enable us to access care much more easily.

We are also trying to get back to some normality in our home.  Whilst I was in hospital, so many things were put on hold and it is good to have the house more organized again and Raymond is trying to deal with the post which had to be ignored for a while.  I have been really uplifted by replies to my blog, telephone calls and messages from family, friends and people in our village.  I am only just getting round to catching up so I apologise for not acknowledging before just how important all the prayers, messages and good wishes have been.  They helped to carry not only me but our whole family through the last two or three weeks.

Anna’s academic paper written jointly with a colleague has been accepted, yet another rung on the ladder.  Yesterday she was pleased to attend the inaugural lecture of her good friend and mentor at Chester.  We take such delight in seeing her blossoming in her chosen career.  It was lovely to talk in a relaxed way to her this morning and hear her chuckle; conversation over the past two or three weeks has been so difficult when half the time I have not been with it.

We are looking forward to this weekend with no medical appointments.  Jonathan is coming down to see us and despite the cold winds outside, the curtains will be drawn, candles lit and we shall relax together.  So much has changed in the last few days.  I know I walk on a knife-edge and my situation can change in a matter of hours if not minutes, but I am a little stronger.  Knowing that I shall be closely monitored helps me to be less paranoid.  I shall have lots of questions about future treatment when I see the oncologist on Wednesday, but I think we are facing the unknown and there can be no definitive plan but rather we must react to how the lymphoma behaves.

I suppose what I am really looking forward to is less drama and a little more normality.  Now I can go up and down the stairs by myself Raymond can go out without worrying about the possibility of my falling.  Even though I can’t really venture into the garden I can watch and listen to the birds and all the other creatures going about their daily lives and Ray can walk by the shore to watch the ships.  There are still so many journeys to make.

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