Tuesday, 8 February 2011

Chemo this week

Everything went well at Exeter for Anna yesterday as she started teaching a new module.  Unfortunately her journey back to North Wales was rather tortuous as there was flooding on the line and part of the journey had to be undertaken by bus, just what you want after a long day of lecturing.

My oncologist rang me today after I left a message yesterday and suggested I contact Health Care at Home to see if they can fit me in with chemotherapy this week.  The type of chemo drugs I shall be given will depend on my blood counts tomorrow.  The strength of the chemo will also be tailored to fit the results.

When I rang Health Care at Home I was able to thank them for the prompt action of their nurse who came to do my blood tests at home on January.  When she found out how ill I was she contacted the hospital and ensured I was admitted.  This turned out to be absolutely crucial.  They are able to carry out the chemo on Friday afternoon which means cancelling a friend’s visit, but I shall be able to have it administered by Mark who was so supportive when I had chemo in 2009.

This is turning out to be a very busy week and I am trying to cope with all the admin involved and keeping BUPA in the picture.  I am certainly lucky to be able to have the treatment at home and I am feeling a little more upbeat than I was during the previous couple of days.  When there are adverse changes I have to come to terms with them.

This means I have to be very aware of changes in my body and react immediately.  In addition, I have to be aware of the fact that the results of all the chemo are unpredictable as to whether they will be successful in reducing the lymphoma as well as the side effects on my body.  I have to accept that time is not on my side but it is useless being miserable; it doesn’t help the outcome and is a complete waste of time as we have to make the most of every day.

My hair is beginning to fall out as I knew it would.  Knowing makes no difference at all even though this is the third time.  I have an appointment with a wig supplier on Friday morning but you can’t wear a wig all the time so fortunately, I have plenty of turbans and scarves.  It is just one more blow to one’s morale though.

It is almost four years since I was diagnosed and there have been so many ups and downs.  A long illness is difficult not only for the patient but the whole family.  I am grateful for all the support but sometimes I wake up and just wish we were free of it.  Not to be I’m afraid.

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