Sunday, 5 December 2010

Fog descends

What a change when I look out of the window. A rise in temperatures and some rain have removed all the snow here and instead we have a fog which descended this afternoon and has not lifted. Anna and Dave left fairly early this morning. Dave was driving to Marlborough and took Anna to Parkway Station for her train. I hope the fog doesn’t delay her journey home too much. Rail travel at the weekend is always difficult as that is when they do the engineering work on the line.

Last time I was at the Marsden I asked one of the other transplant patients if he had found his handwriting had been affected by the drugs. It would appear that this is another fairly common side-effect. I can’t control my writing at all. Admittedly, as I do so much on the computer, it might have deteriorated a little anyway but it looks dreadful now. When I was on chemo three years ago, writing became impossible because of neuropathy.

So I put off writing the Christmas cards although I have done the labels. Instead I checked through the presents, most of which have been arriving in parcel form. I wrapped up most of them although my wrapping skills have suffered along with my handwriting. We haven’t had a Royal Mail delivery for days now although I noticed that the commercial parcel carriers managed to brave the village roads.

Now I’ve done the wrapping I can begin to see the other tasks I must do before Christmas. Fortunately, it won’t be as onerous as usual thanks to Anna but I should like to achieve what I can during the coming few days because the following week will be very busy with so many medical appointments.

I have very mixed emotions about this Christmas because of my uncertain health. It is also very difficult for the family and however much they try to mask their fears, we can’t laugh them off; the feelings lurk in our minds even if not voiced aloud. Perhaps we have, as a nation, an unrealistic idea that Christmas must be a time of celebration. I think that we must just be glad to enjoy each other’s company while we can.

The fog horns are quite audible now and darkness is falling very quickly. At this time of year there are only a few minutes of dusk before the daylight disappears.

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