Sunday, 7 February 2010

Lifting myself up

Ray has gone fishing today. He is sometimes a little worried about leaving me on my own, particularly if Anna isn’t here. However, I am all right, just very lethargic and I do so much want him to have some time away from home in the countryside doing something he loves.

Twice a day now we are having to give the rabbit his antibiotic but he is just a little livelier although not really steady on his feet. Perhaps he is playing for sympathy. Normally he scampers around the conservatory but now he spends most of his time in his hutch. I know the feeling. I haven’t really wanted to go out much with the tail ends of the stitches stretched up my nose. It is not a good look but going out does offer some stimulus

Tomorrow evening the stitches are being removed and hopefully the rash from the plasters will have calmed down. I am desperately hoping that this will re-energise me as there is so much to be done. This week brings some events at the Marsden which are crucial to the bone marrow transplant and I know I have got to become fitter physically and regain some of my usual emotional energy. Having energy on a personal level is something I have always taken for granted and that is worse than all the physical symptoms. Hopefully when I stop feeling sick all the time this will help.

The next few days are really important and I must lift myself up by my bootlaces. One of my inspirations is my mother who at 96 gets up every day and dresses carefully, maintaining her colour co-ordination. This is not vanity, but she knows quite well what self-respect and normality do for one’s morale. Others have their own problems too. So many people I know are going through difficult times at the moment with the recession. We have several friends who have businesses of long standing who are now having to take on other jobs to survive. These are not people who have been reckless but nevertheless they have been caught out because people are just not spending money. Ray and I remember the recession in the 1990s; it’s different this time but still just as difficult. We came through that and, as a result, are stronger so we must summon all our strength now for a different battle – a battle for life itself.

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