Filling the days

We had a relaxing day on my birthday and it was good to see Anna in the early evening. It is about a six hour rail journey so we do appreciate her coming home. She and I spent a happy day yesterday looking for what I wanted for my birthday and it was good to be able to relax with her and chat. She has only just left now and is on her way to Marlborough to spend a couple of days with her boyfriend before returning to North Wales.

Ray is running a course today and over the weekend. They seem to be a pleasant group of people and I went out with them for lunch. The weather now is cool and crisp – very autumnal and there is a big difference to the leaves on the trees now. In the woods there are wonderful colours especially with the beeches and horsechestnuts.

Jonathan and a friend are popping in for a short time tomorrow morning. They are going camping, probably near the River Itchen. Jonathan and his friends seem to relish the cold and I know Jonathan would go camping in January and he probably has. He does have a special sleeping bag and he is just buying a new tent. He has enjoyed camping ever since we took him and Anna to Europe camping when they were children. He is going to borrow the Jeep over the weekend.

It is good for Raymond to be busy as we have both been marking time waiting to know how my health is faring. We go to the Royal Marsden Hospital on Monday and should hear the results of the biopsy. It has been an enormous strain over the last two months as we don’t know what they will do (if anything) if the lymphoma has returned. I know Anna is anxious being so far away; the family have all been through so many ups and downs since my diagnosis in February 2007. As another bone marrow transplant patient said, “I don’t know what it is like to feel normal”.

In the meantime I must just try to fill my days until Monday. I think if the hospital had good news for me, they would have rung but it is no use prejudging the possible results. Waiting is cruel but if the news is bad, then there is no escaping it and that is difficult to contemplate.