The effects of chemo

Yesterday and today the effects of chemo have taken over and I feel very ill.  The steroids cause miserable dreams when I do get to sleep and I seem to be in a state on semi-consciousness most of the time.  I am drinking water and lemonade perpetually with all the consequent effects day and night.

Yesterday I was very sick so I am not really eating anything.  Ray did me some consommée which was good and I know it is causing him problems to find something I can keep down.  My throat is very sore so he has gone to get me an alcohol free mouthwash.  Everything is happening to other people and I feel I have retreated into a very small world or medication and discomfort.

I hate to seem so sorry for myself but a gloomy day in January is perhaps not the best time to be feeling upbeat.  I think Jonathan may be able to get down this weekend – it may be the week after, I am not too bright at the moment.  I am looking forward to seeing him and it will be a real break for Raymond.

In the past chemo has been given one week after which I have had two to three weeks to recover.  I am not sure how I am going to cope with weekly chemotherapy as I seem to be growing physically weaker.  Even getting out of the bath was difficult.

I have just had a nice phone call from a friend.  Although my throat doesn’t allow me to speak for very long, she is always very encouraging and is offering to sit with me if Ray has to go out.  My head is just one big headache at the moment so I am off to drink some lemsip – a glimpse of the high life.

My oncologist has just rung me to go through my symptoms.  I think he is surprised I haven't had to go into hospital yet as I think he was expecting it with such low blood counts.  He has advised me not to go out at all and the way I feel at the moment, I am only too happy to comply.