On the cusp

Today was much milder on our morning walk. Yesterday was quite frosty so few people were about and we saw a rabbit and two muntjac deer. Usually we just see the signs of where they have been but obviously with no one about, they were making the most of their freedom. In the garden I can see the bulbs beginning to emerge. Sadly I think I shall miss the early spring flowers so I shall need to see some photographs of the garden.

I also feel just on the cusp of things about to happen. On Tuesday I saw my ENT consultant to confirm everything is all right for my operation on Monday in Winchester. Although I haven’t heard yet from the Marsden whether my donor is all right with an early March date for the actual transplant, I must now assume that I need to be ready for 22^nd February as my admission date.

Ray is making a quick dash to France today with another engineer who is going to to measure up the boat’s fuel tanks to ensure the old ones can be taken out and the new ones put in. It is going to be something of an engineering feat. More than that, they need to communicate their wishes to the French boat repairers near the marina. Unfortunately, neither party speaks French and even if I had been there, the specialist engineering vocabulary is a little beyond me.

Just after Ray comes back Anna flies off to Amsterdam for a few days. I am glad she is having a break with people her own age as she has been working hard and the next few weeks – months even – are going to put quite a strain on family life and free time.

I am now beginning to feel quite nervous. I know there are lots of practical things I should be doing in preparation but I almost feel paralysed. I have spent a lot of time wanting some action from the medical personnel but now I am being looked after by the Marsden my role has changed. In many ways I can step back and react rather than having to drive this whole procedure.