Sunday, 3 January 2010

After the holidays

Almost every day we visit the hospital for my radiotherapy. We plough through the traffic which is heavy at the moment and almost every day it is raining and the roads around the hospital are grid-locked. By the time we emerge, it is dark and approaching rush hour. However, each day is a day nearer getting me fit enough for the transplant. Whether I like it or not this must be endured and it is for a good purpose but I am exhausted.

I thought the article in the Daily Telegraph would be a one-day wonder but I have had some interesting telephone calls. Obviously, like most donor-conceived adults, I would like to see a change in the law regarding donor anonymity which was one of the main reasons for consenting. I did have other reasons. Mostly when I have actually told people about the discovery of my donor conception, I have met a wall of clich├ęs because no one really knows how to react. It is not something within their experience.

Ray has found it much easier to direct people to the article (even though it is rather over-dramatic) rather than explain the difficulties we have encountered during the last year. Usually we have found that after reading the article, the responses are more considered. It isn’t that people mean to be unkind, they just haven’t thought it through so the story has in that respect been helpful. I still find it astonishing to think of my parents and lots of other parents living with a secret like that; it must have been so difficult and so unnecessary. Thank goodness we live in a more open world nowadays.

Tomorrow I visit the ENT consultant who should be able to give me an idea when I am likely to be fit enough for a transplant. Southampton are still going with a date at the end of January and ignoring the ENT problems. At all events I should be in the bubble by March. There were times when I never thought I’d get there, especially last April when the first lot of chemo didn’t appear to be working and I didn’t seem likely to get a donor anyway. I am on tenterhooks at the moment awaiting an answer from BUPA about whether they will fund the transplant. The problem is that all offices and institutions seem to stop working for about a fortnight over the Christmas period and it’s difficult to get them moving again. On Monday most people will be back to work and hopefully things will be moving.

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