Friday, 15 January 2010

Now things may wake up

At last it’s thawing. In the city there is very little snow although there is still plenty here in the village. Now things will wake up and the hibernation will be over.

I’m not very good at waiting as this blog shows. Everything seems to be happening so slowly whereas I can’t wait to get going. In some cases the slow progress is just because of administrative delays but mostly it has to do with the course of the disease.

January is a strange month. The aftermath of Christmas can involve torpor and certainly that is the case when one is snowed in, but it is also a time of new beginnings, resolutions and regeneration of energy. In my case the spirit is willing but the flesh is definitely weak after 13 months of treatments.

When I thought I was going to have the transplant last December, I psyched myself up to do lots of preparatory tasks but it is difficult now to energise myself to carry out the necessary work. I keep thinking that something will happen to postpone the transplant yet again.

Ray must feel this about his case. We are always crossing one more hurdle, another medical assessment or financial analysis, only to find another series of hurdles ahead. Possibly it will all come together by the end of the year, but I think the other side will constantly want additional reports and I know many cases where they play this game to the utmost hoping the plaintiff will die, give up or go bankrupt.

However, it is the turn of the year. Even last year was not all bad although it came close to the worst on my record.

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