I don’t sleep very well at the moment. Too much is still undecided and whenever I did wake last night the fog horns were sounding. It is quite a strange, mournful sound although when you live near a port you know how important it is for the ships at sea.
Some guidance through all the fog of my own life would be very welcome. I seem to have lived with so many uncertainties for so long and these were compounded last year with discoveries about my own origins which only gave rise to even more uncertainty. The problem with cancers is that you cannot predict the outcome of any treatment or the time it will take. For those of us used to having some control over our lives, this is a very difficult lesson to learn.
I am convinced that this week will give me some answers about my further treatment and when it will take place.
I started writing this early this morning. Then I had a phone call from BUPA, my health insurer. They have agreed to fund my bone marrow transplant at the Royal Marsden. Now I have a real chance of survival.
I’ve had to be very careful about what I have written in an open forum about where I would like this to take place and why. Logistically it will be more difficult for visitors but there is more chance they will actually have someone to visit.
Tomorrow we go to the Royal Marsden to discuss the treatment. As soon as I get a date, I shall have formal approval and we can start to plan.