Sunday, 25 October 2009

The way forward

It has been so good having a visit from our son. He and Josie had been working very hard all week and didn’t get to us until about 10.45 p.m. They were very tired but I was glad they were cheered by the log fire. We’ve just had a delivery of logs so we are all set for the autumn and winter.

On Thursday and Court papers were finally signed and although we can’t relax, the other side must now respond, having assiduously ignored solicitors’ letters for three and a half years. It is a pity Raymond must keep recalling the dreadful day of the accident and no doubt he will be called to attend yet more medical examinations but now there will be a laid down timescale which, hopefully, the other side will have to adhere to. 2010 looks like being a difficult year for us all but perhaps by the end of it, we shall have come through it.

I am having problems with medical appointments which keep being re-arranged. It looks as if I shall be going to the Bone Marrow Clinic on Monday, but I don’t think they really know themselves. My December 17th appointment at the Ear Nose and Throat Clinic has been brought forward so I may get a bit of help on that front too. The PET scan looks as if it is to be arranged shortly. I would like to know when this will be so we can ensure that no arrangements we make will have to be cancelled.

Hopefully, I can soon begin to see a way forward to planning for my hospital stay. It is going to be difficult for all of us but it is the only way out. I just hope that people will understand that although the focus is on me, it is my family who have to bear the brunt of looking after me and supporting me.

Although my birthday is not until Tuesday, we had a celebratory lunch today as we could all be together – a wonderful day.


  1. This is a well-written articulate blog. One thing: you mention an adopted brother. If he is still living and you are still in touch, would it not be a good thing to talk over his circumstances? Has he ever moved to find his birth mother or both birth parents?

    Have you ever heard of the French X babies? That is doubly heart-wrenching.

  2. Thank you so much for your kind comment. My adoptive brother has no contact with me now. Unfortunately he married someone who wanted him to cut out me and my mother's side of the family which he did. Years ago he did talk to me about contacting his birth family and I encouraged him to do so but it was not a great success. I haven't heard of the French X babies; I tried on Google but got a pop group!

  3. During World War 2 there was a place, I believe in South-West France, where pregnant young women could go to deliver their illegitimate babies. They were allowed complete anonymity: Mlle (or indeed Mme) X. After this the women could walk away and hear no more of their children. They must have had what they saw as good reasons: the moral climate of the time, fear of retributive persecution if the child had been fathered by a member of the occupying forces. I suspect that some women had been raped. No records were kept of the women’s names.

    Your mention of a television documentary brought back a memory of a television programme I once saw. I think I watched it at my mother-in-law’s house which meant it was probably Saturday tea-time. It was presented by a doctor (I suspect gynaecologist) called Rob Buckman, who was a sperm donor. (I remember thinking “How could you, with that nose!”). He had a conversation via video link with a man who put the usual moral and religious grounds against AID. He made mincemeat of the poor man, who did not appear to be particularly intelligent or articulate. Since reading your blog, it seems rather distasteful that such a subject should be proposed as tea-time entertainment. I cannot remember exactly when this programme was; I think perhaps in the early eighties. At one point a scan was performed on a pregnant woman and the foetus was found to be male. This was something new and exciting at the time.

    Your comment about the right to have children no matter what the cost is one of the most intelligent and relevant remarks of all time. One can foresee and Orwellian or Huxley-esque world where one carries an identity card with one’s DNA bar code on, to avoid incestuous couplings.