Tuesday, 22 June 2010


Still no internet and it is so difficult to penetrate these organizations. This morning an engineer arrived to fix the internet only to discover that the broadband has been allocated to the wrong line so another few days I suppose for this to be sorted out.

Prior to my admission to hospital in February this year there was so much to do. I had to anticipate not just what I would need in hospital but how the home would function and I had to make arrangements for my mother's welfare so I was kept quite busy.

When I came out of hospital I was prepared to some extent for the isolation and I began what is proving to be a very long climb towards physical improvement by my mind was in a fog. It is difficult to underestimate the effects of the high dose chemotherapy and the resulting transplant and drug regime. I was devastated that I could not longer read - not even the paper and my concentration meant even watching television was difficult.

The most devastating element was that there was absolutely nothing for me to do. Raymond was run off his feet doing everything in the house as I was banned from handling washing or washing up. Gardening was absolutely forbidden and for weeks I couldn't read. Although I have gradually gained ground in concentration and reading which is wonderful, if anything when my head began to clear I was even more conscious that having spent of life of being busy, I was now completely useless and redundant. When the high points of a week are the visits to hospital, you know you are in trouble.

My visits to the hospital made it clear to me that this was not necessarily a case of this will either work or it won't. Obviously I hope and pray that it does. But even when the transplant does work, it would appear that many people have to visit hospitals far more frequently than I had been given to understand. This has meant I must re-evaluate the future.

No comments:

Post a Comment