Preparing and adjusting

This is a busy time of preparation for most people in the run-up to Christmas. Often it is a very happy and sociable period in our lives. Thinking that I was to go into hospital at the beginning of December, I have in fact written cards and bought most of the presents – even wrapped them too.

However, there are this year additional preparations for me. I have to see the dentist and opticians to ensure I am healthy before going into hospital as I shall not be able to go for treatment for about 12 months. There is a will to sort out and my mother’s finances and well-being for the period when I shall not be able to visit her.

Going to the opticians the other day I found that my sight had only slightly deteriorated with the chemotherapy which lifted my spirits a little. However, I was asked lots of questions about my family’s eye health. These I would have readily answered just a year ago, but now I have to say that half my family medical history is missing. Some conditions such as glaucoma are inheritable but like quite a number of people I know nothing about my paternal family. For years I told absolute lies about my medical background – unknowingly of course. At least if you realise you have no knowledge of one side of your family you don’t give false information which can undermine diagnoses.

Next to the new dentist. Gentle reminder to brush the inside of my teeth more but no fillings needed. Refused to go to the hygienist as I caught an infection from the previous dental surgery. The dentist proved quite understanding and he will scale my teeth himself – for a higher charge, of course! Receptionists keen I shouldn’t really have to pay for my treatment as I am seriously ill but I’ve looked through all the literature and I don’t fit any of the categories which are exempt as I’m not claiming any state benefits. To them that hath more will be given!

Yesterday was Will day. It is quite difficult deciding who shall have what and how you’d like your funeral service to be when you desperately want to stay alive. I suppose once it’s done it can be put away and forgotten about, one less thing to worry about.

Today I have been shopping with my daughter for her Christmas present but this was very pleasurable. We had a leisurely lunch in town and we enjoy each other’s company. We all wanted the transplant before Christmas but we are gradually adjusting.