The family face

Tomorrow we go for a much-needed weekend to see our son in London. Fortunately, there has been no hospital appointment today, just the break I need.

The night was cold and frosty and in the moonlight we could just make out the shape of a young deer asleep on the lawn. He is the now nearly grown-up fawn who gave us so much pleasure during the spring and summer. Somehow the deer always come when we are down or unwell.

Today has been comparatively lazy. We took our walk a little later than usual and it was a pleasure to walk through frosty grass and see the puddles clouded over with ice. The sun was shining and there was no sign of the incessant rain which has just poured down for the last fortnight.

I’ve made a decision about my hospital treatment. In the light of all the procrastination I am going to try to get a second opinion from the Royal Marsden. I feel I have to take a more active approach in all of this. I can’t afford to be passive and assume that all is being done in my best interest. At least because of insurance I do have a choice but so many people do not.

The battles are still going on on all fronts and I can’t deal with everything simultaneously but Ray and I feel much better if we have more control about what is happening.

Last Sunday my daughter and I had our caricatures drawn very well at an event we were attending. I am looking at mine as I write. I can’t help wondering who else I see in the picture. Of course, I know I resemble my mother’s family but who else is represented there – the stranger, the donor, the parent I never knew.