Sunday, 20 September 2009

Autumn days

I have thoroughly enjoyed my son’s visit whilst Ray has been in France. So good talking together, watching DVDs, going for a walk and cooking moules. He works very hard in London and I would like to think that coming down to Hampshire can provide a little tranquillity although it is not always the case.

The weather has been fine as if summer can’t let go but the feel of autumn is in the air and the time of transition from summer into winter later in the year. This is a time of transition for me too. By the middle of winter I could be inside the bubble.

Fortunately I have recovered now from the worst effects of chemo and can now think more positively. But this blog is about my journey into the bubble and how I am preparing for the transplant. Although I shall be in isolation then, I am not in isolation now and while I am grateful for the enormous help given to me by family and friends, they have their problems too.

Ray has been very concerned about the delays connected to the case he is bringing against Biffa. It would appear that so many innocent people whose lives have been badly affected by guilty drivers have great difficulty in obtaining justice. It seems to be all about wearing the plaintiffs down so they will accept anything. While he has this worry he also has to support me during this period.

We know we must both stay as positive as we can and enjoy the good days when they occur. It is very difficult to plan anything at the moment as I don’t know when my chemos will take place. I can’t see the transplant happening before mid January and we must just hope they can get me into remission by then.

This year has been one of tremendous ups and downs. The lows have been not finding a match, learning about my conception and the destruction of clinical records. The highs have been finding a donor and achieving some success with the chemo. Now I have to have the determination to see these next chemos through and not to allow any lows to affect my determination and chances of recovery. It is so easy to be adversely affected by events around one.

I know nothing really about what it will be like in the bubble and I hope I will be able to tell my story to help those others who are travelling a similar route and their families. I am sure there would be more donors if more people knew about what a transplant entails and how it can change lives. I just hope that some good can come out of what has happened to me this year. If there is one thing I have learned this year it is the importance of openness.

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